The DC Universe I Want

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 16

2009-03-11T22:59:00.001-04:00

Page 16

Clayface: Fuck you, Charlie.

Alfred: It seems that no matter how many times you are gotten rid of, you keep coming back. You go to jail, you get out, you are committed, you escape, you die and are resurrected, and every time, you come after Master Bruce.

Alfred walks off.

Clayface: He tried to kill me!

Alfred comes back with the garden hose and drapes it over the side of the well so that the nozzle is pointed towards Clayface and is too far away for Clayface to grab.

Alfred: Batman doesn't kill people. He believes that there is no circumstance where it is okay to kill a person. He has believed so since his parents' death.

Alfred: Thankfully, I don't have that problem.

Alfred leaves and turns the garden hose on.

The last panel is a horizontal panel of the well with the hose in it, the house with its doors destroyed and the car askew in the driveway in the background, and the yard showing. No one is in sight.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 15

2009-03-11T22:57:00.001-04:00

Page 15

A grappling line shoots up out of the well and wraps around the branch above the well. Batman comes flying out of the well.

Clayface: Let me out!

Batman calls out.

Batman: Alfred!

Alfred comes outside.

Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce?

Batman: Call Gordon and have him pick Clayface up.

Alfred: Yes sir.

Alfred watches Batman leave.

Alfred turns to the well and talks down to Clayface.

Clayface: I'm going to kill you too, old man!

Alfred: I think it's about time you and I had a talk.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 14

2009-03-09T22:41:00.000-04:00

Page 14

Location: Wayne Manor - Outside

Scene: Batman runs outside, slamming the front doors behind him, and then he runs past the limo. Clayface comes through the doors like a freight train, and slams through the limo, brushing it to the side like a shopping cart.

Clayface: You can't run, Bruce!

Batman runs through the yard towards a decorative well and jumps inside of it.

Clayface: Running to your batcave, Bruce!

Clayface jumps inside the well.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 13

2009-03-09T22:38:00.000-04:00

Page 13

Batman leaves bedroom and escapes down the hall, utility belt in hand, with Clayface chasing after. Clayface is just fucking shit up as he chases Batman.

Clayface: You held me down in the rain till you thought I was dead!

Batman turns a corner while putting on utility belt. Clayface is still following.

Batman leaps over railing on the second floor into entrance hall, landing a story below in front of the main doors. Clayface just explodes through the railing to the floor below.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 12

2009-03-05T20:56:00.001-05:00

Page 12

An arm comes lashing out of Catwoman's neck and grabs Batman's throat. Catwoman is revealed as Clayface.

Clayface: No. I'm not.

The clay from the horrible Clayface arm creeps up to envelope Batman's face.

Batman grabs his utility belt off the back of the chair, wraps it around Clayface's arm, and squeezes the arm apart, like squeezing a space in a tube of toothpaste. This is while Clayface is trying to immobilize and smother Batman.

Batman wrenches free. Clayface continues to lash out at Batman. Batman dodges.

Clayface: You tried to kill me, Bruce!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 11

2009-03-05T20:54:00.001-05:00

Page 11

Catwoman starts to walk towards Batman.

Catwoman: Listen to me!

Catwoman collects herself.

Catwoman: You're right. I have been holding back, but I'm not now.

By this point she has come close enough to Batman to kiss him and appears to have reached up to do so.

Catwoman: I love you.

Batman (starts laughing): I know who Catwoman is. You're not Catwoman.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 10

2009-03-04T23:16:00.000-05:00

Page 10

Batman: I can't say I'm surprised you're here.

Catwoman (teasingly): Now that I know who you are, I couldn't stay away.

Batman (tersely): What do you want?

Catwoman slumps her shoulders and is saddened that she wasn't greeted happily.

Catwoman: Bruce, don't you realize that if you had told me who you were, we could have had a life together?

Batman: What do you mean?

Catwoman (hurt shouting and getting up from the bed): You were always holding back!

Batman (angry): The same could be said of you!

Catwoman (now angry but still hurt): The difference is that I wouldn't have hauled you off to jail!

Batman (seething): I don't break the law.

Catwoman: Yes you do! Yes you God damn do! You're a fucking vigilante and you break the law every night you go out!

Batman (calmly): Get out.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 9

2009-03-04T23:14:00.001-05:00

Page 9

Location: Wayne Manor

Scene: Batman is walking down the hall to his bedroom. He's a had a long night, a long morning, and he is looking forward to getting some sleep. He opens door, there is a utility belt on the back of the chair by his desk near the door. Sitting on his bed is Catwoman.

Catwoman: Hello, Bruce.

Batman is surprised, but quickly collects himself.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 8

2009-03-02T23:02:00.000-05:00

Page 8

Batman: Thanks, Alfred. You're a help.

Alfred: You misunderstand me, sir.

New Panel
Alfred: You are able to make your choices you did because of your station. The people of Gotham face the same tragedies you do, but they aren't able to make the choice you did. Now, for good or ill, they can now. All you are doing is providing the means to make that choice, sir.

New Panel
Pulling into Wayne Manor, there is a decorative well in the front yard. There is an oak tree next to the well with a large branch that extends over the well.

Batman: Perhaps you're right, Alfred.

Alfred: Of course I am, sir.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 6-7

2009-03-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

Page 6 - 7

The limo manages to break free of the crowd and Alfred drives away. As the limo drives through Gotham, people are managing to anticipate the limo's route. People are lining the streets. Some hold signs supporting Batman, some hold signs damning, while a couple support the Joker. Fights may break out between all three. You decide.

Batman: Alfred. Am I doing the right thing?

Alfred: I don't know, Master Bruce.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 4-5

2009-03-01T17:40:00.000-05:00

Page 4 - 5

Batman leaves the podium and heads towards the limo. The press corps is going nuts and are shouting questions and trying, desperately, to get Batman's attention. The crowd is mesmerized.

Batman gets into the limo. Alfred is driving. The reporters follow. The crowd slowly circles around the limo, intermingling with the reporters.

The crowd presses itself against the limo and push their faces to the glass. Some are crying, some are shouting, some are thanking Batman, some are cursing him. Alfred slowly pushes the limo through the crowd.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 3

2009-03-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

Page 3

Batman: but there doesn't have to be.

New Panel
Batman: I made a choice long ago to become who I am. I now offer all of you that same choice...

Reporter (interrupting): What are you saying?

New Panel
Batman: What I am saying is that I am starting a school to create Batmen. Where people can, and will, learn to defend themselves and the people around them.

New Panel
Batman: I am saying I am putting my trust in the people of Gotham City. Any who want to join me, can, and together, we will save Gotham.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 2

2009-02-28T08:29:00.001-05:00

Page 2

Get ready for a big talky part. Panels should, of course, show Batman, but also the press reaction and the reaction of the people of Gotham so as to break up the repetition.

Batman:And I believe in Gotham City. I trust in Gotham to grow and flourish, despite the many obstacles before it. I trust in her strength and resilience in the face of adversity and her many tragedies, such as last night's.

New Panel
Batman: What I haven't trusted in is her people. I haven't trusted you.

New Panel
Batman: This is despite the fact that I know you. I know your joys and kindnesses. I know your pains and heartaches.

New Panel
Batman: I have those same joys, and I have tried to repay your kindnesses.

New Panel
Batman: I know you because those same pains and heartaches have driven me to become who and what I am.

New Panel
Batman: Yet, even though I know you, I have not trusted you. I have not even trusted you with who I am.

New Panel
Batman: If I had, last night might have been prevented, but I didn't, and last night happened,

New Panel
Batman: and I couldn't do enough to save you, for there is only one of me,

Batman Vox Humana Issue #3 Page 1

2009-02-28T08:27:00.000-05:00

Page 1

Location: Downtown Gotham

Scene: Downtown is in ruins after the floronic men and Superman's involvement. There is shattered glass, dead bodies of men and women, and pieces of floronic men everywhere. It is as if Gotham had been hit with a tornado. There is a stand with a podium on it. In front of it are members of the press corps. Behind the podium is Batman as Bruce Wayne.

Batman: I'm the God damn Batman!

The reporters go all kinds of crazy. Flashbulbs go off. The reporters yell questions into the air, waving microphones and voice recorders.

Batman (the very epitome of decorum): I'm not answering questions at this time. Just please, let me finish. I am the Batman.

The Difficulty of Issue #2.5

2009-02-28T08:19:00.000-05:00

What was really hard about this issue is that there is hardly any action. On top of that, almost all the action is at the end. The rest of the issue is all one long conversation. True, I could have condensed some of the dialogue that I stretch over pages, but I wanted the artist to have the room to really build up the tension, especially since there is no real payoff until the very end. The other hard part was trying not to fall into cliched superhero dialogue. True, it is easier and it works, but I wanted it to sound more like what people really sound like when they are hurt, and what people sound like when they are trying to console them. Usually those things happen and are over with so quickly in comics, but, let's be honest, it often takes a lot longer to put up that stiff upper lip when we feel wronged and alienated.

The Horror of Aquaman

2009-02-28T08:17:00.000-05:00

Aquaman gets no love. He is made into a joke on Family Guy and his fellow members of the JLA keep humming the tune "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid whenever he is around. Hell, I only know one guy who is really into him as a character.

Mind you, Aquaman is difficult. It takes some work to determine how he can really be used, and if the adventure is on land, well, why would an author even use him?

Yet the sea affects us all, so I think that Aquaman must be more powerful then we realize. If that were true, why would he hide it? On top of that, seeing all of he beautifully ugly things that come up from the deep sea, I began to wonder, "What if Aquaman wasn't a hero?" Oh, sure, he has done lots of heroic things, but what if he did them for terrible reasons? That's when I started to think that maybe Aquaman, as well as the rest of the Atlanteans, were further removed from humanity than we thought, and, if so, what it would be that they really want?

What the hell took so god damn long?

2009-02-27T16:01:00.000-05:00

Hello gentle readers (both of you),

Here is why things took so long for the script for issue 2.5. First, my computer broke, a lot, several times, and I had to get it repaired. Then, when I got it back, I just couldn’t bring myself to write. I know, it sounds stupid, but I just couldn’t do it until today. As you can see, I wrote a lot. On top of that, I have also written issue #3 already. I will post it in its entirety later on today or tomorrow. I am working a double today, so I don’t know if I will even want to look at a computer screen when I get home. Also, I have to post a few more random stuff first, just because I want to. Issue 3.5 is going to be a tough one as well. But, I will tell you that it has to do with Alfred, because he has one of the greatest histories in comics and needs some of his stories told.

Till then, thank you, both of you, for continuing to read my attempt at writing DC.

James

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 20

2009-02-27T16:00:00.002-05:00

Page 20

Superman (thinking to himself): My God! My eyes!

Superman reaches his hands up to his face.

Superman (thinking to himself): It hurts to look.

Superman pushes his thumbs into his eyes. Droplets of blood float away from his face.

Superman (thinking to himself): My God, it's full of stars!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 19

2009-02-27T16:00:00.001-05:00

Page 19

Splash page. Superman is in the center of the page. All around him are strange stars and nebulous gasses, the shapes and angles of them are distorted in different ways, as if oddly shaped lenses and prisms had been placed on the page. There are hints of tentacles, horrid limbs, teeth, and eyes in the shapes.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 18

2009-02-27T15:59:00.000-05:00

Page 18

Superman is flying through space.

Superman (thinking to himself): This has to be a trick. This can't be happening. Something has to be controlling them.

The background of space is getting stranger and more distorted.

Superman (thinking to himself): I can tell the Lanterns.

More strange backgrounds and more distortion of shapes and lines. Red shift behind Superman, blue shift in front.

Superman (thinking to himself): Where am I going? I have never flown this fast before.

Superman (thinking to himself): Dear God!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 17

2009-02-27T15:58:00.000-05:00

Page 17

Superman takes off. Aquaman and Martian Manunter look to each other.

Aquaman: So, will he stand in our way?

Martian Manhunter (telepathically): He knows there is nothing he can do. He wants to fight, but he knows it will not be enough.

Martian Manhunter (telepathically): More than that, he wants to go home, as we all do.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 16

2009-02-27T15:57:00.002-05:00

Page 16

Aquaman kisses Superman, spiked tongue and all. Superman's eyes are wide and his pupils are dilated, he cannot believe what is happening and that he is helpless to stop it.

Aquaman ends the horrible kiss. Superman looks disgusted.

Aquaman: You can't stop it, Kal, and you can't fight me if I won't let you. Just turn away.

Aquaman: I will release you, but if you fight, back down you go.

Aquaman releases Superman. Superman staggers up, retching.

Superman looks a Martian Manhunter and then at Aquaman. Martian Manhunter presses a button, opening an airlock for Superman.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 15

2009-02-27T15:57:00.001-05:00

Page 15

Aquaman: I will let you speak.

Superman: Why do you save them? Why do you save people? Aren't you human?

Aquaman reaches up to his face and pulls off his skin, revealing a fishman underneath. I am thinking something along the anglerfish, and his tongue is covered is a double row of sharp, pointy, hooked teeth in a V pattern.

Aquaman: No, I'm not. And I save people because when the old gods return, they have to eat something.

Aquaman: I do not want to see you die, Kal. I am truly your friend, and unlike those pretenders you hold so dear, I love you.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 14

2009-02-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

Page 14

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): You wouldn't be doing it for nothing.

Aquaman: The gods of the first world can give you want you have always wanted. A home where you belong.

Aquaman: They can remake Krypton for you.

Martian Manhunter (still telepathically): They are giving me Mars.

Aquaman: All they want is to come home. All they want is what you want, a home of their own.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 13

2009-02-27T15:52:00.002-05:00

Page 13

Aquaman: This isn't your world. Never was and never will be. It's not even the human's world. It belongs to another people. Mine.

Aquaman: Did you ever wonder about what you would call the first world? With all your adventures, you probably never even gave it a thought.

Aquaman: It never ended. The gods simply left to explore the Bleed, and now they are returning.

Aquaman: My people were charged with taking care of this world for them and we do not need you to get in our way.

Aquaman: All I need from you is this. When they come, look away. There are an infinite number of people across the universe that will need saving.

Aquaman: Save them instead.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 12

2009-02-27T15:52:00.001-05:00

Page 12

Aquaman: I don't talk to fish. I speak to the brain stem. I control it and willpower has nothing to do with it.

Aquaman: You know why you can't talk right now? Because I am preventing your brain from reaching your vocal cords and mouth.

Aquaman: You knw why you fell to the floor? Do you know what you just experienced? It was a heart attack.

Aquaman: You are weak as a kitten right now.

Aquaman: You should be glad, for without me, you would have never experienced it, Kryptonian.

Aquaman: I didn't want to have to do that, but I need you to listen.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 11

2009-02-27T15:49:00.002-05:00

Page 11

Superman pimp slaps Aquaman. I would like this panel to mimic the one where Batman hits Superman.

Superman goes to beat the tar out of Aquaman, but finds he cannot move.

Aquaman: Having trouble, Kal?

Superman clutches his chest and falls to the floor.

Black Panel

Panel from Superman's perspective. He is on the ground, face up. Aquaman is leaning over him.

Aquaman: I don't think any of you ever really understood what I can do.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 10

2009-02-27T15:47:00.001-05:00

Page 10

Aquaman: And when you tried to help him and his fellow humans, he lashed out and tried to kill you.

Superman (shaking his head and with his hand in his hair): Well, I had said-

Martian Manhunter (interrupting) (speaking in Superman's mind): It doesn't matter what you said. He tried to kill you, like Luthor has continually tried to kill you.

Superman (businesslike): What are you getting at?

Aquaman: Maybe it's time you hung up the cape.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 9

2009-01-07T21:00:00.001-05:00

Page 9

Aquaman: But you still haven't been. Your confrontation with Bruce demonstrates that. They still don't love you.

Aquaman comes close to Superman and places his hand on Superman's shoulder.

Aquaman: Kal, I know that Bruce has been your friend for a long time, but when he needed simple companionship, he didn't come to you.

Aquaman: He went to someone else.

Superman looks hurt and confused.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 8

2009-01-06T21:50:00.001-05:00

Page 8

Aquaman: It wasn't a mistake. You're right. Bruce is only human and he will never be able to do what you can.

Superman: What? Okay, wait, what are you saying?

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): He's reminding you that you aren't human.

Superman: You think I don't know that? You think I haven't worked hard to be accepted here?

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 7

2009-01-05T08:59:00.000-05:00

Page 7

Superman: What did I say?

Aquaman: You reminded Mr. Wayne that he was only human. That there were things he would be never be able to do.

Superman: Yes, I did. It was a mistake, and how do you know what I said?

Aquaman: We were watching you, and it wasn't a mistake.

Superman: What?

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): Please take the time to listen to him, Kal.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 6

2009-01-04T11:04:00.001-05:00

Page 6

Martian Manhunter changes back to his Martian form.

Superman (puzzled): I thought Mr. Terrific and Red Tornado were on watch duty today.

Aquaman: We relieved them. I wanted a chance to talk to you.

Superman: What about?

Aquaman: About something you said today.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 5

2009-01-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

Page 5

Martian Manhunter should now look like he did in New Frontier.

Martian Manhunter (shouting): Would you prefer this? Do you know why I go around looking like this? Do you?

Martian Manhunter: I do it because if people are laughing at you, they aren't scared of you!

Superman (shocked, like a deer in headlights): I'm sorry. Its...its just been a long day. I'm sorry, J'onn.

Aquaman walks in.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 4

2009-01-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

Page 4

Scene: Superman is walking into the observation deck. J'onn J'onnz is there in all his Martian glory (like the pre-human disguise Martian in New Frontier).

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): Hello Kal. I saw you come in. Are you well?

Superman: I'm fine, thank you.

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): You are bleeding.

Superman: I'm fine. Look...could you talk out loud, please?

Martian Manhunter (speaking in Superman's mind): I apologize. Speaking is uncomfortable for me. Would you rather I change my appearance too?

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 3

2009-01-03T09:03:00.001-05:00

Page 3

Scene: Superman opens the door to the restroom. There is a sink in his vision.

Superman (thinking to himself): Radiation poisoning and a busted lip.

Scene: Superman is washing his face.

Scene: Superman is looking at himself in the mirror, assessing the damage.

Superman (out loud and to the world around him): I'm his friend.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 2

2008-12-31T00:19:00.002-05:00

Page 2

Location: Outside the Watchtower (the JLA satellite)

Scene: Superman is entering the airlock.

Superman (thinking to himself): I saved his city.

Location: Inside the Watchtower

Scene: J'onn J'onzz is watching Superman on the monitor entering the airlock. J'onn looks like his true, Martian form.

Scene: Superman is walking down the hall.

Superman (thinking to himself): This is the thanks I get.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2.5 Page 1

2008-12-30T00:11:00.001-05:00

Page 1

Location: Batcave

Scene: The same panel as page 18 of Part 2 (Floronic Man). Batman is walking away from the mouth of the Batcave. Alfred is standing there, looking at Batman with a disapproving look. Superman is on the ground, his face bloody, shouting at Batman.

Superman: You're only human!

The same panel again, only this time, Superman is gone.

Location: In the sky above the earth.

Scene: Superman is flying into the atmosphere.

Superman (thinking to himself): Only human. Is that what I think?

Good News

2008-12-30T00:05:00.000-05:00

So, I heard from a pal that Brian Michael Bendis read my blog. I don't know which one, though. I hope it was this one and I hope he enjoyed it.

So, I am almost done with Issue #2.5, so I am going to go ahead and start posting.

I hope you like it.

Where the hell is #2.5?

2008-12-26T13:59:00.003-05:00

What do you mean Issue #2.5 isn't up yet? You're not even writing full breakdowns! There is no art and it is taking you this god damn long? What the hell is wrong with you? You complain about lateness all the time and you can't even stay on schedule!

These are the things I say to myself over and over again and will be continuing to do so until I finish this damn issue. Like I said before, this has been a really hard issue to write, and the holidays are busy in the world of retail.

Which only goes to illustrate the need to have things ready before you start posting them online.

Still, stick around, things are only going to get better (in my opinion).

New Krypton and Things Done Right

2008-12-26T00:58:00.001-05:00

Recently, I have been reading the New Krypton storyline.

This is a small crossover event that is being handled really well by DC.

"How?", you might ask. Well, I will tell you. They are numbering the order in which they occur on every issue that involves the story. On every cover there is a small diamond/shield shape with a number on it.

That is elegantly simply. More crossovers (especially the larger ones) should do this as well.

God, I am so Jealous

2008-12-26T00:22:00.000-05:00

So David Mack came into the store the other day.

Let me say this. I am a fan of David Mack. It was really hard not to be a total fanboy, because I am a fanboy, but he was really nice and put up with me, because God knows I can be annoying. Just ask my friends.

That being said, I am rather envious of the man, and not just because he created an awesome comic (Kabuki), but rather, because of what he does for Christmas.

This guy goes to Portland, gets together with Brian Michael Bendis, Michael Avon Oeming, and Chuck Palahniuk, hangs out with them all, and writes with them. That's it.

Imagine it for a moment. David Mack, Brian Michael Bendis, Michael Avon Oeming, and Chuck Palahniuk, sitting in a living room, sipping on a drink or two, and just chilling.

One day I hope to be there. Till then, I am just going to be jealous.

It was very nice to meet you, David. Thanks for hanging out.

DC and Video Games

2008-12-25T22:54:00.000-05:00

The holidays so will soon be over and I will be able to get back on schedule. It is a busy time in the comic shop.

So, DC vs Mortal Kombat is out and from what I hear, it is a pretty good game.

Even so, I think DC (and even Marvel!) are missing out when it comes to video games.

Sounds crazy, I know, but bear with me.

I was talking with my coworker about Green Lantern, Blackest Night, and the Sinestro Corps War. We were talking about how we would love to play a video game of the Sinestro Corps War and the upcoming Blackest Night event. That's when it his us. Wouldn't it be great if DC game out with episodic games that coincided with whatever storyline was coming out? Imagine playing the Sinestro Corps sniper being charged with sneaking onto Oa and taking out lanterns? Or being Despotellis and having to choose different disease vector paths to most efficiently decimate a planet? Or what about being a Green Lantern sent to investigate strange occurences throughtout the universe?

It would work to. Just like Sam and Max became a big hit for Gametap, this would work for DC as well. You wouldn't even have to worry about a comic being late pushing back the game if it only told side stories involved in the event. Wouldn't it be awesome to play a cop investigating the disappearance of children during Final Crisis? No matter how late Grant Morrison was, this story could still be told, and be told in a way that actively engages the audience.

Oh well. Here's hoping.

Merry Christmas.

Issue 2.5 and New Postings

2008-12-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

So, Issue 2.5 has been one of the most difficult things for me to write. There is not a lot of action (which is easier). What is being difficult is creating dramatic tension. Mostly this issue is one long conversation, but one I think will be rewarding for the reader by the time I get to the end. Since this issue is taking me longer to write, I am going to post up one comic page script a day until it is finished, then I will get back to the two a day, as issue #3 is already written. Issue 3.5 is proving more difficult, though, so we will see.

I'm the God Damn Batman

2008-12-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

My friend Ben, the same one who feels as though that Batman and Joker needs each other, got upset at me for this ending. He said to me, "Dude! You can't just drop a bomb like that and walk away!"

Well, yes, yes I can.

What is important here is not the revelation that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but why he made the revelation. This is the acceptance of something that very few superheroes have, limitations. This acknowledges that Superman was right, and that he is all too human, which is something I love about Batman.

The Floronic Man

2008-12-19T09:12:00.001-05:00

The Floronic Man is a prime example of a person that DC just does not know what to do with. He has been a professor, an interdimensional traveler, a drug dealer, a hero (known as Floro), and a number of things in between. To me, though, he will always be a villain. When I was trying to think of a story for the Floronic Man, I thought about my nightmares and the things that would frighten me. What scares me about this interpretation of the Floronic Man is that he is indifferent to humanity. It is not that he doesn't care about a human's well being (he doesn't), but that it does not affect him either way. People are just tools to be used, and those people that could be competition need to be eliminated. What also frightens me is that the Floronic Man does not attempt to communicate with people at all. By becoming a plant-human hybrid, the Floronic Man has made himself into something truly alien in mind.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 20

2008-12-18T09:49:00.000-05:00

Page 20

Batman: I'm the God damn Batman!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 19

2008-12-18T09:45:00.000-05:00

Page 19

Location: Downtown Gotham, the next day, it is no longer raining.

Scene: Downtown Gotham is in ruins. There is broken glass everywhere, including ravaged cars, trash, blood, and parts of floronic men. Like tornado damage, but bloodier. In the background, a stand has been set up and there are reporters seated before it. There is a podium on the stand. In the foreground is a news reporter.

News Reporter: We are standing here amidst the wreckage of last night's incident. Though we are all grateful for Superman's timely arrival, massive amounts of damage were caused by him as well as the strange men who appeared during last night's storm. What is even harder to measure is the human cost of this terrible tragedy. Not only did the sonic boom of Superman shatter glass and eardrums as he passed, but many people were also blinded as he broke the light barrier in front of people's eyes. To others it may be a fair price for their lives, for others, a horrible reminder of a night that defies all logic. Now we are awaiting the arrival of industrialist, Bruce Wayne. The Wayne family has long been known for their charity and it is expected that he will announce a relief program for those affected by this awful catastrophe.

Scene: Batman as Bruce Wayne arrives and walks up to the podium.

Batman: Ladies and gentleman, you know me as Bruce Wayne, billionaire, industrialist, philanthropist, but there is something you may not know...

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 18

2008-12-17T08:33:00.001-05:00

Page 18

Batman backhands Superman. Superman falls to the floor. There is a kryptonite ring on Batman's exposed hand.

Batman: Look here, Boy Scout! Some of us can't fly. Some of us don't shoot fucking lasers out of their eyes.

Batman kicks Superman in the stomach.

Batman: Some of us work for a living! Some of us were born here!

Batman kneels down and punches Superman in the face with the kryptonite ring.

Batman(in Superman's face): Not everything is a job for Superman!

Alfred walks in.

Alfred: Master Bruce! What do you think you are doing? Go upstairs, now!

Batman stops, gets up, and walks away.

Superman (to Batman's back): Unlike me, one of you isn't enough. I can save them alone, but you can't! You are only human! There is only one of you and there are some things you can't face!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 17

2008-12-17T08:31:00.001-05:00

Page 17

Location: Batcave

Scene: Batman is standing at the mouth of the Batcave. It is still raining. There is a speck of blue against the gray sky. The next panel, Superman is in front of Batman, floating, his arms crossed, his cape trailing behind him.

Batman: What did you think you were doing?

Superman (confused): What?

Batman: I didn't ask for your help.

Superman: Bruce, things had obviously gotten out of hand, so I took care of it.

Batman: I had it under control!

Superman: Like hell you did! What were you going to do? Spray some herbicide through the city? Use the Batplane like a crop-duster?

Batman (seething): ...

Superman (incredulous): Oh...That was what you were going to do? That would have taken forever! Do you know how many people would have died? How many people would have lost their parents?

Batman takes off his right glove.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 15 - 16

2008-12-16T09:39:00.001-05:00

Page 15 - 16

Location: Batcave

Scene: Batman is preparing the Batplane and listening to the news.

News Anchor: Look! Up in the sky!

Location: News helicopter above Gotham

Scene: It is still raining. Inside helicopter, looking outside. News Anchor is in the foreground. Superman is in the background.

News Anchor: It's Superman!

Scene: Close up of Superman's face. It is of serene contemplation, as if he is lost in thought.

Location: Gotham Downtown

Scene: Several shots of downtown. It is still raining. All we see of Superman are red and blue streaks everywhere, with the floronic men being torn apart, straight lines of Superman's heat vision setting some aflame, burning some, causing others to explode in a massive release of steam. The shockwave of Superman breaking the sound barrier downtown is causing windows to break, and glass to shatter. There is glass flying everywhere. People are shielding their eyes from Superman breaking the light barrier (he has to be able to move faster than the speed of light, or he would never be able to make it to any other planets).

Scene: It is still raining. The last two panels is of the first floronic man. The floronic man is crawling as his legs have been shattered. Superman's bright red and shiny boot is in front of the floronic man. The next panel is of Superman's zen-like face as he crushes the floronic man's head beneath his heel.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 14

2008-12-16T09:37:00.001-05:00

Page 14

Location: Batcave

Scene: Several shots of the floronic man strapped to a slab and being tested on by Batman.

Scene: Batman hands a clipboard to Alfred.

Batman: Call down to Wayne Chemical. Tell them to make as much of this as they can.

Alfred: Very good, sir.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 13

2008-12-15T09:03:00.001-05:00

Page 13

Location: Batcave

Scene: Batman roars into Batcave, skids to a stop, and walks to the dying body of the floronic man, whereupon he stomps the floronic man's face in until it moves no more.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 12

2008-12-15T08:58:00.001-05:00

Page 12

Location: Downtown Gotham

Scene: It is still raining. Batman comes at the floronic men. He whips Batzarro's chain around one of their throats, does a U-turn, without stopping, dragging the floronic man behind him. Several shots of Batman weaving back through Gotham, the floronic man in tow. These shots should show the damage being done to the floronic man, a mixture of the floronic man abrading the way human flesh would, and splintering like a tree.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 10 - 11

2008-12-14T08:30:00.001-05:00

Page 10 - 11

Location: Batcave

Scene: The perspective is from in front of the screen. Alfred is looking up at the screen, watching the proceedings. Batman is already gone.

Scene: Batman is on the Batcycle and shoots out of the Batcave. Batzarro's chain is wrapped around his left forearm.

Location: Wayne Manor Grounds

Scene: It is still raining. Batman comes shooting forth out of the Batcave. His left arm is raised and Batzarro's chain is trailing behind him.

Location: Gotham and Downtown Gotham

Scene: It is still raining. Several shots of Batman on Batcycle weaving his way through Gotham, culminating to him reaching a crowd of floronic men. The floronic men come running towards Batman, mouths open, like screaming, but making no noise. Batman guns towards them in a straight line.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 9

2008-12-14T08:26:00.001-05:00

Page 9

Location: Batcave

Scene: Batman is sitting at the bat-computer. The computer is on the right hand side of the page and Batman is on the left. His cowl is pushed back, leaving his head and face exposed and clearly visible. He has a wistful and longing look on his face. He is leaned back in the chair, his feet on the computer. In Batman's right hand is a beer. In his left hand is one of Batzarro's chains. He is holding the chain up in front of his face, dangling it and playing with it slightly.

Batman (singing to himself): Reflections in the waves spark my memory...

Alfred walks in.

Alfred: You may want to turn on the news, Master Bruce.

Batman turns the screen to the local news.

Location: News helicopter above Gotham.

Scene: The view from the side of the helicopter of the ground. It is still raining. On the ground are hoards of floronic men, killing males and raping females of all ages. The females who cannot get pregnant, either due to age or other reasons, are repeatedly raped to death. Some women are on the ground, giving birth to floronic seeds right there on the street. People are either running into or out of buildings, as are floronic men.

News Anchor: As you can see below me, there is a scene of total chaos. No one knows where these men came from. They don't appear to be interesting in anything besides rape and murder. There have been reports of looting, but not by any of these strange men. The riots are escalating and are threatening to engulf the city. Fleeing residents are being being caught in traffic, so citizens are being asked to stay inside, lock your doors, and draw your blinds.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 8

2008-12-13T08:13:00.000-05:00

Page 8

The woman scrambles to her apartment, locks the door, and curls up and cries. She has mentally fallen apart and her body is wracked with her sobs.

She grabs her stomach. She doubles over in pain and her stomach expands. Seeds reminiscent of avocado seeds are birthed from her body, first one, then several, and then more. They keep coming and we see her body being sucked dry. While this is happening, the seeds sprout arms and legs and become more floronic men. The floronic men search the apartment looking for edible objects, food, cardboard, untreated wood, the body of the woman, etc., while some are turning on all of the faucets and drinking all the water they can. This allows them to grow till they are the same size as the original floronic man. They then file out of the apartment, leaving behind the dessicated corpse of the woman.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 6 and 7

2008-12-13T08:10:00.001-05:00

Page 6 and 7

Location: Outside Robinson Park on the street
Scene: A woman parks her car, opens her umbrella, and gets out. The floronic man is watching from the park. She walking quickly and briskly to her apartment building. She opens the front door and as she is walking in the door of the building the floronic man rushes into her with the same ferocity with which he attacked the derelict. Fight ensues and she does fight, she bites, and punches, and kicks, but the floronic man doesn't even notice. The floronic man quickly, robotically, and without feeling subdues the woman and rapes her. This scene should be in no way sexy. It should proceed more like a beating than a sexual experience.

The floronic man's face wrenches, and he finishes. There is blood, cum, piss, and shit on the floor. The woman is curled up, sobbing. The floronic man just stands there. Another gentleman has finally built up the nerve and opens the door into the hallway to see what is going on. The floronic man turns his head and rushes the gentleman and proceeds to beat the him to death.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 4 and 5

2008-12-12T00:13:00.001-05:00

Page 4 and 5

Scene: Lightning strikes the tree and splits it. The man comes falling out of the tree. The man falls to the ground and is kneeling on the ground, coughing, as if using his lungs for the first time. The bark is falling off of his body, revealing olive toned skin.

Scene: Close up of his face, it is smooth and contains hints of a grain. His eyes seems to be searching and his nose is sniffing the air. His mouth is open and seems to be tasting the world.

Location: Further into Robinson Park

Scene: An old, derelict man is hiding from the rain. He has found a clearing in which a lean-to has been put together. He has a trashcan fire going and is just sitting. The derelict is wearing round rim glasses and a long coat. The floronic man bursts through the trees and bushes and just beats the living hell out of the derelict until he breathes no more. During this episode, the floronic man wears an expression during this time as if he is screaming but he makes no noise at all. The only sound is of flesh being broken and meat being torn.

Scene: The derelict is dead and the floronic man puts on the overcoat. Then he puts on the glasses. For some reason, the glasses now reflect a light, grayish-green color and are opaque for the rest of the comic.(There is no explanation for the change in the glasses color. I just wanted the floronic man to look this way. The clothes are just an acknowledgment of his once human history.)

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 3

2008-12-12T00:10:00.000-05:00

Page 3

Location: Robinson Park

Scene: Horizontal Black Panel

Next 3 panels should be right next to each other in one line.

Scene: Panel 1; Tree with the shape of a man twisted into its bark. It should not be obvious, but should hint at the shape of a man, though the face should be more apparent than the body. The face resembles John Glover.

Scene: Panel 2; Close up of the eyes. They are closed and covered in bark.

Scene: Panel 3; Close up of the eyes. They are open now and looking skyward. The eyes are shades of green and brown.

Scene: Horizontal Black Panel

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 2

2008-12-11T12:27:00.001-05:00

Page 2

Scene: Horizontal Black Panel

Horizontal Panel
Location: Gotham

Scene: Gotham skyline is lit up by lightning and it is raining.

Scene: Horizontal Black Panel

Location:Robinson Park
Scene: Overhead 3/4, skewed 10 degrees view of sign in the arch of the gate leading into Robinson Park

Batman Vox Humana Issue #2 Page 1

2008-12-11T12:24:00.003-05:00

Page 1

Location: Arkahm Asylum

Scene : Same as the last panel of Issue #1, though no text. Rain has started and it is coming in through the bars. Batman is just staring at the Joker.
Next panel, looking in from the outside into Joker's cell through bars. It is raining still and Joker has started chuckling, then laughing.
Next panel, further out, Joker's laughter is trailing out from cell.

A Brief Argument for Continuity

2008-12-11T09:10:00.001-05:00

I have heard from several comic creators and enthusiasts that continuity should be done away with and that, instead, the comic companies should focus on telling good stories.

I think that is a mistake.

You see, continuity allows something special to happen to characters. That something is necessary for good story. It allows the character to change and grow.

Without continuity then what happens in a story doesn't matter. Without continuity, the audience has no reason to keep reading.

Some may argue that what happens in a story only matters within that story. Well, that's not true, for it is earlier stories that allow for authors to reference events as a cause for the story they are telling. There would be no Nightwing without Robin.

When it comes to the audience having a reason to keep reading, well, as we all know from our own lives, what we do determines what happens next. The events of our lives are predicated by the choices we made earlier. The audience won't keep reading a story just because it has a character they no in it, and no amount of X books will convince me of that. People keep reading about these characters because the author(s) have given them a reason to stay interested. If everything is just a unconnected mess, no matter what the quality, people won't read it.

Also, by creating a place where only a single story at a time is focused upon would create an environment in which lesser known authors would suffer. People won't want to take the risk, especially since comics will be going up, on someone they do not know. Continuity allows for larger authors to set the stage for lesser known authors and gives those lesser knowns a (hopefully) good place to start telling stories.

Heck, most of the problems in continuity are caused by one thing, authors who ignore continuity.

So, to the comic companies out there, be more strict about continuity, and force your authors, no matter how big, to pay attention, and I swear to you, your books will only get better.

Jack Napier and the Origin of the Joker

2008-12-10T11:12:00.003-05:00

In issue 1.5 the Joker tells a story about Jack Napier feeding the anti-corruption crusader, Edwin Atherton, to several members of Gotham's criminal and corrupt element before the advent of Batman. Some may complain that the Joker was a comedian, a la Killing Joke, or the Red Hood. Personally, I always really liked the Jack Napier origin.

That being said, this is not meant to define Jack Napier as the origin of the Joker, but rather, to simply add to the supposed many origin stories of the Joker as to who these myriad of people were before Joker came about. This story may be true, it may not. It is the Joker after all. Even he, in this story, does not know why he remembers the tale, he just tells it.

What is the deal with the Joker?

2008-12-10T09:06:00.000-05:00

With the advent of The Dark Knight, everybody is talking about the Joker again. Not that the Joker ever went away, but now the average person on the street is talking about him. People who I have never seen in the store are now coming in to purchase the Joker graphic novel, small kids want the Heath Ledger toy, and the Killing Joke is selling that sample sized pieces of crack.

But what is the deal with the Joker anyway? My friend Ben loves the Joker and says that the Joker is a mirror image of Batman, and that neither could exist without the other. I think that is bullshit. The Joker is now anti-Batman and Batman would continue to do what he does without the Joker around. It is the Joker who needs Batman, not vice versa.

Ben also says that the Joker isn't crazy, but is rather super-sane and it only appears like craziness to us normal sane people. I will also say that is bullshit. The Joker is crazy. I say this because sane people can describe something they are not, craziness, but no one has ever been able to describe super sanity to me. You know why? It doesn't exist. That's why.

So, what is the deal with the Joker? The Joker feels a need to make other people like himself, hence Joker gas, my having him mutilate random people, and his obssession with Batman. Why his obssession with Batman? Well, because Batman is someone who will never, under any circumstances, be like the Joker, and so the Joker has to try to change him.

Issue #1.5? What the hell?

2008-12-09T21:08:00.000-05:00

One thing I really annoys me about event comics is the periphereal issues. You know the ones. Secret Invasion Inhumans, all of the incarnations of Final Crisis, X-Men Civil War, blah blah blah. Now, periphereal comics are great (in theory at least, X-Men Civil War sucked crusty prison dick), but one thing that gets me is that they are hard to place in the timeline of an event. Maybe I am not that smart. I don't know, but I do always have a hard time figuring out when and where and how a periphereal comic relates to the main comic. Some cases it is better handled than others, but in most cases, I am lost. Even when I enjoy the story, I get lost (not too smart, remember?)

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 21

2008-12-09T09:23:00.000-05:00

Page 21

Location: Arkham Asykum - Inside Batzarro's cell

Batzarro now looks like a bizarro version of the Joker. Do Bizarker however you want. I suggest overalls instead of a suit. Remember Batzarro has no eyes, so none for the bizarro Joker.

Batzarro: Batzarro never Bizarker!

Bizarker: Bizarker stop crime!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 20

2008-12-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

Page 20

Joker: So Batman took Batzarro out of Arkham.

Joker: Where Batzarro will never rot, for so small was Batman's love.

End of Joker Story

Location: Arkham Asylum Cafeteria

Joker (whispering in Batzarro's ear): Batman will always love you.

Batzarro (tears on his face, his mouth open and screaming): Batzarro stop crime! Batman good!

Batzarro runs out of cafeteria.

Location: Arkham Asylum - Outside Batzarro's Cell

Batzarro: Batman good. Batman good. Joker bad. Batzarro still wants to be Batman. Batzarro will be Batzarro still.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 19

2008-12-08T07:58:00.000-05:00

Page 19

Joker: But Batman loved Batzarro, and he told Batzarro.

Joker: Batman loved Batzarro so much, Batman didn't want to hurt Batzarro.

Joker: Batman gave Batzarro good instructions.

Batman: Stop crime.

Picture of Batzarro with dead child's body.

Joker: So Batzarro didn't do just that.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 18

2008-12-07T04:55:00.000-05:00

Page 18

Joker: Batzarro hated Batman, and never wanted to be like Batman.

Joker: Batzarro didn't want Batman to hate him.

Joker: Batman seemed to hate Batzarro.

Joker: Batman was Batzarro's enemy.

Joker: Batzarro was sad.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 17

2008-12-07T04:53:00.002-05:00

Page 17

Joker is annoyed and angred by Batzarro.

Joker (screaming): Who cares about fucking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

The Joker collects himself.

Joker (malevolent): I don't have a story for you.

The section of Joker's storytelling should have a non-descript background.

Joker: Don't let me paint a picture for you.

Joker: There never was Batzarro.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 16

2008-12-06T07:48:00.000-05:00

Page 16

Batzarro is waving his plastic spoon around.

Batzarro: Joker story funny! Joker story interesting! Batzarro won't tell his story.

Batzarro: Batzarro full, so Batzarro puts away bread, peanut butter, and jelly.

Batzarro: Batzarro takes peanut butter and jelly off bread.

Batzarro: Batzarro starving again!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 15

2008-12-06T07:45:00.001-05:00

Page 15

The guests have now sat down.

Professor Hugo Strange: And will you be joining us?

Jack Napier: No, I won't be. Just think, after tonight, you will all have the same secret. When you go after each other, remember what you did together,...

Jack Napier: And remember who made you do this.

Jack Napier (smiling): Now take, eat, all of you. This is the blood of the new covenant, which is shed for me and by many. Do this and forever remember me.

Location: Arkham Asylum Cafeteria

Scene: All of the people at the Joker's table, except for Batzarro, is just staring at the Joker, wide-eyed with their mouths open. They cannot believe what they just heard. The Joker is laughing.

Joker: I don't know why I even remember that story, but it has always made me smile.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 14

2008-12-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

Page 14

Doctor Karl Hellfern: You expect us to eat him?

Jack Napier: That's right, like one big, happy family.

Luigi Maroni, Vincent Falcone, and Penguin jump up from the table.

Luigi Maroni: I've already got a family, I don't need another!

Vincent Falcone: Same here!

Men come from the darkness of the warehouse, guns drawn. They each put a gun to the head of each dinner guest.

Jack Napier: Ah, but you don't really have a choice.

Vincent Falcone (defiant): No. I'm not doing this.

Vincent is immediately shot through the head.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 13

2008-12-05T08:15:00.002-05:00

Page 13

Scene: The cover on the platter is removed by the Harley lookalike, revealing Edwin Atherton (his picture can be found on Wikipedia), naked, gagged, and hog-tied.

Jack Napier: Or Sunday dinner.

Gillian Loeb jumps up.

Gillian Loeb: What the hell is this?

Jack Napier: Don't you recognize your dinner? Detective Edwin Atherton here wouldn't play ball, so I thought I would take care of him for you.

Jack Napier: And you're right. I shouldn't expect this of you.

Jack Napier then pulls out a ball peen hammer and beats Edwin Atherton in the head until he is dead.

Jack Napier: No one likes food that moves.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 12

2008-12-04T08:42:00.000-05:00

Page 12

Jack Napier: Look, there are always going to be some small disputes, right? But we here, we gotta look at the big picture.

Jack Napier: These wars are bad for business, and at our core, we are businessmen.

Penguin: Get to the point, Jack.

Jack Napier: The point is that to be able to get on with each other, we need to be less like businessmen, and more like a family...

Jack Napier: And family is all about the shared experience, be it childhood, church,...

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 11

2008-12-04T08:41:00.001-05:00

Page 11

Close-up of Jack Napier's face, grinning.

Jack Napier: Why, indeed.

New Panel

Side shot of Jack Napier. One hand is raised to his chest, palm down, with the fingers splayed and dangling. The other arm is extended from the elbow from the waist, palm up.

Jack Napier: Gentlemen, we all have our differences, yet we all want the same things, money and power.

New Panel

Tony Zucco: Yeah, well, what else is old?

Peter Grogan: Quiet, you. (Turning to Jack Napier) Yeah, so?

Jack Napier: So...there really is no reason for all of us here to not get along. There is more than enough for all.

Vincent Falcone: Maybe for you.

Jack Napier: Oh, but not for you, of course not. Your son getting shot last week isn't enough for you, eh? Good thing that pretty boy Thomas Wayne is around, huh?

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 10

2008-12-03T08:43:00.002-05:00

Page 10

Location: Morning in the Arkham Asylum Cafeteria

Scene: The Joker and Batzarro are in line getting food put in their trays. Crazy Quilt is in the line with them, as is Two-Face, Maxie Zeus, The Mad Hatter, and Mr. Zsasz.

New Panel

Scene: Batzarro and Joker are sitting down to eat.

Joker: You know, I used to eat like this all the time, all the time. Everyone would come. Everyone who was anyone. No one turned down my invitations.

Location: Joker's Warehouse

Scene: The Joker, (as Jack Napier) has set up a banquet table. On it is a large covered platter, candelabras, drinks, and place settings. Sitting at the table is a woman who looks like a non-costumed Harley Quinn (it isn't Harley Quinn, I just thought that it would be good to have a lookalike for her here, it kind of sets the stage for Harley in the future), Luigi Maroni, Professor Hugo Strange, Police Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb, Tony Zucco, Vincent Falcone, Penguin, and Doctor Karl Hellfern (Batman's first supervillain). The lady who looks like Harley Quinn is sitting at one end of the table, the Joker (as Jack Napier) is standing with his chair behind him at the other end.

To help distinguish this Jack Napier from the later Joker, for this section I will refer to him as Jack Napier.

Peter Grogan (annoyed): What's the meaning of this, Jack?

Professor Hugo Strange: Yes, some of us have business to attend to.

Jack Napier: Gentlemen, please, surely we have time to be civil. I promise I didn't ask all of you to be here for idle chat.

Luigi Maroni: Then why are we here?

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 9

2008-12-03T08:42:00.001-05:00

Page 9

Batzarro (singing): When I brush for quite awhile,

Batzarro (singing): I will have a happy smile!

Batzarro: That song awful! The words make sense!

Location: Arkham Asylum

Scene: Batzarro is laughing uproariously. The Joker is in the background, looking dismayed.

Joker: Where's the joke? Where's the funny? I just don't understand.

Scene: The Joker has turned his back on the door, his head is turned looking behind him, his arm is waving goodbye.

Joker: I'm going to bed. I need to sleep. I'll tell you another story tomorrow.

Joker: Good morning, backwards man.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 8

2008-12-02T08:12:00.000-05:00

Page 8

Batzarro: So Batzarro stays in bed and refuses to sing toothbrush song.

Batzarro (singing): Here's my toothpaste, here's my brush!

Batzarro (singing): I won't hurry, I won't rush!

Batzarro (singing): Working hard to keep teeth clean...

Batzarro (singing): Front and back and in-between!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 7

2008-12-02T08:08:00.001-05:00

Page 7

Location: Arkham Asylum

Scene: The Joker is laughing.

Batzarro: Story funny, funny man. Batzarro not have story. Batzarro keep story to himself!

The art for Batzarro's stories should be extremely simple. Not necessarily minimalist, just simple.

Location: Batzarro's Bedroom in his Trailer

Scene: Batzarro is in his bed. It is morning.

Batzarro: One night, Batzarro fell asleep.

Batzarro: Batzarro yawns, and his breath smells sweet.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 6

2008-12-01T10:08:00.001-05:00

Page 6

Picture of the Joker's hand holding the face of one of the people picked up off the street. Their are tears in their eyes Joker's other hand is holding the blade. Other victims are in the background.

Joker: Just a couple of quick movements.

Close-up of the Joker cutting the victim's cheek from mouth to ear.

Joker: And then just a little motivation to smile.

Joker is kicking the victim someplace sensitive, such as the genitals or stomach. This causes the victim to scream, ripping their cheeks open.

Joker: And then they will always be smiling, just like I do.

Picture of the victim's face with scars where their cheeks were cut.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 5

2008-12-01T10:04:00.000-05:00

Page 5

Picture of the Joker's silhouette, with a wide-brimmed hat on his head, smelling a flower.

Joker: The world would be such much better place if everyone smiled as much as I do.

Close-up of the Joker's smile.

Joker: But it is not enough to just smile, no, it takes work to gain a smile like mine.

Picture of the Joker holding a straight-razor or scalpel.

Joker: But why not make it easy on these poor, smileless folk? I could do the work for them.

Random shots of people being grabbed off the streets, (businessmen, children, women, indie kids).

Joker: It wouldn't be too hard.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 4

2008-11-30T02:12:00.001-05:00

Page 4

The start of Joker's first story. The art for the Joker's stories should be completely different from the rest of the series. It should be heavily impressionistic and vivid in its colors. Also, the panels should be somehow broken, or no panel lines at all, with each scene blending into the other.

Location: Non-descript

Joker: You know, I'm a smiling kind of person.

Joker: Some people naturally scowl,...

Joker: And others always look sad,...

Joker: While others work oh-so-hard on that stern, authoritarian demeanor...

Perhaps use a picture of Batman for the authoritarian demeanor caption

Joker: But smile, and the world smiles with you.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 3

2008-11-30T02:10:00.000-05:00

Page 3

Joker (mocking): Batzarro stop crime! Batzarro stop crime!

Panel of Batzarro looking hurt.

Joker: Are you sad, backwards man? Are you sad?

Batzarro: Batzarro not sad. Batzarro happy.

Joker: You're right. Silly me. If you're happy and you know it...

Joker claps his hands twice.

Joker: You like stories? I like stories? No...wait...You hate stories? I hate stories? I won't tell you a story, backwards man.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 2

2008-11-29T09:02:00.000-05:00

Page 2

Singing creeps it's way into Batzarro's cell.

Joker (singing): Hello, hello, hello...What a wonderful word, hello!

Batzarro perks up.

Batzarro: Goodbye!

Joker (singing): Hello, hello, hello...You can hear it wherever you go!

Scene: The Joker is holding onto the bars in the window of his cell, pushing his face through the bars. His eyes are wide and glittering. There is a yellow tint in their sclera. His hair is wild and un-kept. He smiles a gleeful, manic smile. His teeth are neat and his smile is wide.

Joker (singing): A stranger in a strange world can't be nearer, But when you hear the hello song it's dearer...

Joker: Or is it goodbye?

Batzarro (starting to smile): Goodbye!

Joker: Oh, you say goodbye, and I say hello! Hello! Hello! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Batzarro (his crying starting to stop due to the distraction): Batzarro stop crime!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1.5 Page 1

2008-11-29T08:57:00.000-05:00

Page 1

Location: Arkham Asylum

Scene: Same as the last panel of Part 1.

Next Panel: From the front of Joker, Batman is in the background looking in the cell. Joker starts to laugh.

Next Panel: Batman leaves, and Joker is laughing uncontrollably.

Scene: Batzarro is crying in his cell.

Batzarro (sobbing): Batzarro stop crime!

What the Fuck?

2008-11-28T16:35:00.003-05:00

So a customer of mine asked what the hell inspired me to write this thing.

Truth be told, it was my coworker, Zano. Zano asked me to write a Batzarro story for him to illustrate, so I wrote this story. I didn't include a bunch of instructions because I trusted Zano's creativity to make something awesome.

He never got around to it, but I still keep writing. There are a bunch more issues coming up.

So that is why there are not more instructions for artists.

And for those who are wondering why I have titled this story arc Vox Humana, well, you will just have to wait to find out.

Done with the First Issue

2008-11-28T14:39:00.004-05:00

One of my friends, after reading this script, looked at me in horror and said to me, "You can't do that to Batman! That is not Batman!".

It amazed me how hurt he looked. He had been a Batman fan for as far back as he could remember and this script did not make him happy.

He was wrong though, I could do this Batman. I can do whatever I like, because this isn't for DC, this is for me and is about what I want. Mind you, this is not necessarily the events I would like DC to have happen, but it is the characters as I understand them or would like them to be.

I would like a Batman who is a human being, and 52 presented a unique opportunity for that. Often times it has been portrayed that Bruce Wayne is an act and Batman is who this character is. Still, even if that were true that Batman was just playing the role of Bruce Wayne, any actor will tell you that a role develops a character and personality of its own, hence Jack Nicholson taking the time to talk to Heath Ledger about the emotional toll of playing the Joker.

And who is Bruce Wayne? Bruce Wayne is an asshole. A drinking, womanizing, and playful asshole.

But why hang out with Batzarro? Because Batzarro wants nothing from Bruce Wayne. Anyone else would either be looking for money or for Bruce to do something for them. Bruce Wayne is a man trapped by his own inheritance, for his inheritance makes any and all of his relationships suspect, and Batzarro is so clear in his wants and needs that their is no place for duplicity on his part.

Batzarro also has a desire, though, and that is to be Batman, and the closest he can get to being Batman is to hang out with him.

But what about Alfred? Hasn't he wanted Bruce Wayne to stop being Batman since forever? Well, once Alfred sees that the Bruce Wayne act is no longer and act, but who Bruce Wayne is, he doesn't like him much, either. Alfred wants a balance between the persona that is Bruce Wayne and the persona that is Batman, as both men are extremes.

But how does this relate to Batman being human? Human beings make mistakes. Some may argue that Batman does not, but he does, he just doesn't when it comes to fighting crime. Batman/Bruce has screwed up so many relationships, mostly by simply not paying attention, and now is no different, it just has harsher consequences when it comes to Batzarro.

Of course, I am sure Keith Giffen will complain about this, but why the Joker? Why the hell did the Joker have to tie into this? As my friend had mentioned to me at one time, the Joker and Batman need each other. I don't believe that. I believe the Joker feels a need for Batman, not vice versa. Since Batman was gone, Joker had to find some way to prompt him to come back.

DC and copyright

2008-11-28T08:51:00.002-05:00

It was brought to my attention by a customer of mine that many comic authors won't read writing submissions. This makes sense to me, because if an author used some material from a submission, whether intentional or not, the person who showed them their script could try to hold them liable. It is unfortunate, but true.

So, let me say now that if any comic author, artist, or creator wishes to use any idea, phrase, original character, or anything else from my fan fiction here, feel free to do so. I would appreciate it if you acknowledged that you have read this blog, but I will not be upset if you don't. I put this up publicly for everyone to read, so screw it.

Also, what about DC? I don't own any of these characters that I am writing and encouraging others to draw. Well, I think this falls under fair use. I know there is a ton of fan fiction out there, and if DC does not prosecute all of those people who write it, I do not think they will go after me.

Besides, if they do ask me to stop writing, then that means that they have read my stuff here.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 15

2008-11-28T08:41:00.001-05:00

Page 15

Location: Arkham Asylum

Scene: Batzarro is in a cell, curled up, rocking back and forth, and crying, with Batman in the background looking in. Batman leaves cell and goes to Joker's cell. Batman looks in the cell window (which is in the cell door) at the Joker. The Joker is not facing Batman.

Batman: You got Cornelius out, didn't you?

Joker: You forgot us. You forgot me...and when you have loved someone as long as I have, you can pretty much guess what they are going to do.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 14

2008-11-26T08:12:00.002-05:00

Page 14 (you know the drill)

Batman launches at Batzarro. Batman is trying to beat down Batzarro. Batzarro is just trying to stop Batman from hitting him. The fight should be ridiculously long and use lots of improvised weapons (like Jackie Chan and including the dead child's body). The fight ends with Batzarro on the teacher's desk, face terribly bloodied.

Batzarro's eyes are watering and tears are running down his face.

Batzarro (blubbering): But...butt...unlike Batman, Batzarro stop crime...

Batman stops hitting Batzarro, horrified realization is etched across his face.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 13

2008-11-26T08:12:00.001-05:00

Page 13

Batman ties up Stirk and goes back to the classroom where the child was. Batzarro is there. Batzarro is holding the child's body in one hand and the bone saw in the other. The child's heart is on the ground.

Batzarro: Batzarro stop crime!

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 12

2008-11-25T08:28:00.000-05:00

Page 12

Location: Gotham Elementary

Scene: Classroom, late night. Stirk has a child trapped beneath him. Stirk's eyes are wide and he has a bone saw in his hand. Batman is in the background behind Stirk.

Batman: Stirk!

Stirk lets go of the child and runs. The child falls to the floor. Batman leaps over child and chases Stirk.

Scene: School hallway. Stirk is running down the hall not bothering to look behind him. Batman is behind him, with illusions of Batman's fears surrounding him. (Things like his parents telling him how ashamed they are. Stephanie Brown (the female Robin, she's a blonde) asking him why he let her die, himself as Batman covered in blood and laughing.)

Batman throws a batarang and hits Cornelius Stirk in the back of the head. Stirk trips up and falls to the ground. Batman catches up and pulls him up by the back of his neck. A child's scream is heard. Batman punches Stirk in the face. Illusions are still happening around Batman.

Stirk: I'm sorry. I need them. I'm going to die without them! I have to!

Child's scream is continuing. Illusions still happening and are still happening.

Batman: No. You don't.

Batman punches Stirk in the face again and Stirk is knocked out. The child's screaming and the rest of the illusions have stopped.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 11

2008-11-25T08:22:00.000-05:00

Location(s): More places throughout Gotham

Scene(s): Several panels or pages of Batman investigating, sans Batzarro. Batman beating up a guy and pumping him for information, Batman searching warehouses, Batman in the lab, interrupted by a panel of the newspaper heralding the number of dead as the headline.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 10

2008-11-24T09:27:00.000-05:00

Page 10

Batzarro sees look on Batman's face.

Batzarro: What me not do?

Batman is looking at the paper.

Batman (distractedly): Stop crime.

Batzarro (quizzically): Stop crime.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 9

2008-11-24T09:26:00.001-05:00

Page 9

Location: Batcave

Scene: Batman is asleep in a chair in front of the Bat-Computer, leaned back, shoeless, with one sock on, mouth open, and snoring. Batzarro is asleep and smiling, leaning against Batman's leg.

Alfred walks in and leans chair back just enough to dump Batman out of it.

Batman: Ooph!

Alfred: Ah. I see you're up, sir.

Batman (getting up): What do you want?

Alfred: I thought you might like to see this, sir.

Alfred drops newspaper on the floor. Headline reads "3 Dead, Hearts Missing".

Batzarro is waking up, arms stretched and mouth open.

Alfred: In all my time with the Wayne's, I have always thought I was a member of your family, but you have made it obvious that I was wrong am but a servant. So unless you get off your self-pitying ass, I am tendering my resignation, effective in two weeks.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 8

2008-11-23T13:12:00.001-05:00

Page 8 - Whatever, I'm just gonna say the next page is 9 just cause it's easy

Location(s): Different places throughout Gotham

Scene(s): Several panels or pages (I'm thinking pages) of Batman and Bizarro goofing off, drinking and driving, (I really want a shot of Batman behind the wheel, grinning, with a beer in hand), and perhaps with crimes happening in the background.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 7

2008-11-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

Page 7

Alfred: Will you be performing any feats of daring-do this evening, Master Bruce? Or should I put the fresh suit up for the night?

Batman gets up, puts on an undershirt.

Batman: I am going out tonight, thank you.

Alfred: Very good, for I understand that Cornelius Stirk has escaped. I think it was due to the new revolving door Arkham had installed.

Batman: That will be all, Alfred.

Alfred leaves the suit and gives Batman a withering look.

Batman: Batzarro sleep now.

Batzarro gets up and a mess of beer cans is revealed beneath him.

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 6

2008-11-22T09:19:00.000-05:00

Page 6

Batman leaves room, grabbing Batzarro by the collar.

Batman: Batzarro, we're staying!

Scene: Hallway, Batman leaving room, Batzarro in tow.

Batzarro, being dragged along: To carry on!

Location: Wayne Manor

Scene: Days later. Bruce Wayne's Bedroom. Bruce Wayne is asleep on bed, Batman uniform on floor. Batzarro, still in costume, is curled up at the foot of the bed. Alfred is standing next to the bed, with a fresh Batman outfit in hand. There is also a desk and chair near the door.

Alfred: (clears throat)

Batman: groan...

Batman Vox Humana Issue #1 Page 5

2008-11-22T09:16:00.000-05:00

Page 5

Batzarro: On board, I'm the captain...

Superman: Bruce, he shouldn't...

Batzarro: So climb aboard.

Batman: You're not the supreme authority on should or shouldn't, Clark, no matter what you think.

Batzarro: We'll search for tomorrow...

Superman: I'm just...

Batman (jumps up): I know you're "just". I don't care. I've got him under control.

Batzarro: On every shore.

Green Arrow: Okay guys, calm down. Clark, it's good for Batman to laugh once in awhile. Proves there is a first time for everything. (Turning to Batman) Bruce, he is dangerous. I know you can handle him, but get him off the satellite.

Batzarro: But we'll try, oh Lord, we'll try...